Friend just checking on you3/24/2023 “You know what you need to do? Blast some fun music and have a dance party in your living room! You’ll feel so much better!” “This is such a great opportunity for you! You can use this time while you’re single to improve yourself, focus on yourself, love yourself, take a painting class, learn tai chi! So many great things will come from this! It’s really a huge blessing!”ġ0. “Well, I’m sure you’re learning plenty of valuable lessons from this experience.”ĩ. I went through a rough break-up last year…but then I met someone amazing and now we’re engaged! You’ll get there soon, too!”Ĩ. “I totally get what you’re going through. One day you’ll think, ‘I can’t believe I wasted five years with her’.”ħ. “This is great fodder for your next book! You’ll turn this whole experience into a bestselling novel or movie script! You’ll be laughing on the red carpet at the Oscars while he’s watching at home on the couch!”Ħ. “You’ll fall in love again and all of this will just be a distant memory. Now that’s really something to feel sad about.”Ĥ. My friend’s husband just got diagnosed with cancer and he’s been given six months to live. “Break-ups are tough, but you know…things could be much worse. One day he’ll realize what a huge mistake he has made and by then, too bad, you will have moved on!”ģ. “You need to get back out there and start dating again!”Ģ. The following statements might not feel comforting to someone with a broken heart-either because they’re aggressively positive/cheerful (which hurts), or aggressively cruel/critical of their ex (which hurts, too), full of pressure (“hurry up and stop feeling sad”), dismissive (“get over it, things could be much worse”) or just don’t feel “true” (too black and white, not acknowledging the grayness and complexity of the situation).Įven though you have the very best of intentions (you want to help them feel better) these particular phrases might not be helpful right now.ġ. If you know someone who is grieving the end of a relationship (something I’ve been personally navigating this last year), I hope this list is helpful for you. Kessler’s list inspired me to create my own list, but focusing on a different kind of loss: break-ups and divorce. There, I found a very thoughtful, beautiful list of what to say-and not say-to someone who is grieving, particularly someone who is grieving the death of a parent, sibling, spouse, or child. Recently, I read On Grief & Grieving by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler-a powerful book about how human beings cope with many types of loss, including the death of a person you love, the death of a dream, or the death of a particular identity.Īfter finishing the book, I meandered over to Kessler’s website. What to say (and not say) to someone with a broken heart.
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